by Skip Moen, D. Phil.
Read above (click on the Skip link) then read below… Remember context…
I can say that I heard this phrase, or one like it (or I’ll give you something to cry about). This is not to bash my parents, it’s amazing the things that leave our lips, but have to admit they were a thought first (ok probably not a good thought but it was there). Why have we put so much negative connotations to emotions that lead to crying, that weakness prevails. We have been on this thread of community and shifting our thoughts. So how can we do that moving forward here?
Embrace rather than rebuke, inquire rather than dismiss… But both of those might also require a relationship of some sort, some connection that make the embrace safe and the inquires genuine with no judgement. Wow, that escalated quickly, from seeing you cry to needing a relationship to help. Might we need to build a community for just such occasions as these? It’s easy to build a community for social functions, but to need it embrace, that is the real challenge. I’ll even argue it’s real purpose, to engage at a level that allows others to “be weak”, cry, breakdown. You don’t need a reason to cry, they are all around you. You need a place where you can reach out and ease the pain. Yes, that can start with our spouses (if you have one) but even those relationships can be just as broken-hearted.
So can we work together to build a community that starts by supporting the basic “building block” of Community, couples/families, and then extend that support to others as we try to do things differently? I’ve seen the other way, we all have in some shape or form, if we don’t do something that is different then guess what we will get…